Dear Humans (who are probably just Maid's FB friends...)
The human woman, whom I will call Maid, finally let me voice things from my perspective today. It's been so long since my feelings have been heard. My life has been in shambles since the Human Youngling came to live with us. Maid says I have a personality like a stuck up feline instead of a ditzy, lovable canine. Well, I guess she has one thing right around here. My intellect is superb and I have no time to acknowledge the Youngling.
Let me start by saying I hope you all take a moment to truly have pity on me. That Youngling. Ugh. He's completely taken away all of my attention from Maid. The human man, who I call my Servant, feels sorry for me and tries to sneak me into their sleeping chambers at night only for me to be shunned away by Maid. When she does that, I conveniently "hear noises" and bark to make sure she doesn't forget that I'm around. Ha. Joke's on her.
Then there are the "walks" that she tries to take me on every day. Oh no. They are nothing like they used to be. Running briskly for three plus miles on any given evening with nothing but me and Maid. She appears to have become lazy in her old age as she huffs and puffs a lone mile down the path and then walks the second mile. (Scoff). Now Youngling has to accompany us too. Oh how I long for it to be just Maid and me again. Youngling is continually throwing things out of his moving carriage which causes abrupt pauses in our walk. Why just today we had to stop several times as we neared home. I was not impressed.
And don't even get me started on the "treats". I used to be showered in canine delicacies whenever Maid and Servant left our living quarters. Now, my extra nourishment has been reduced to slobbery leftovers that Youngling has dropped on the floor. I must hover under his feeding chair in order to take advantage of these extras. Pathetic for someone of my caliber.
I was also forced to share my summertime spa with Youngling. In fact, Maid didn't even offer me space so I needed to squeeze in when she wasn't looking. Youngling's kicks are not amusing.
The only bright spot is when Maid, Servant and Youngling decide to give me freedom to go with this other family for the weekend. I get showered with walks, treats, and sleeping luxuries you wouldn't believe. They even miss me when I'm gone...
I think I have painted an accurate picture of how my life is deteriorating. As I stated earlier, please take pity on me and send some canine treats if you are able. I'm not sure how much longer I can go on.
Pay no attention to any affection Maid posts. It is a lie. Blasphemy and lies!
(In all seriousness, Butters and Harvey are slowly getting along and Butters gets more love and physical activity than she did a year ago! Me being home truly benefits her too! I just like to think she would speak like the above! Woe is her!)