Fools!

Photo Jan 29, 11 30 37 AM **Before you start reading, if you haven't read the first two notes from the dog you might want to check them out to get up to speed. Click here for: Number ONE and Number TWO.**

Dear People of Earth- It is I! Madame Butters! If you only KNEW the shenanigans I pulled last night. Muah, ha ha...

Ok, I will tell you. You know you don't have to twist my paw. I enjoy the chance at the spotlight since Maid wasted your day talking about "cutie patootie" kids cleaning houses for their mommas. Blech...

My Maid has been doing something crazy lately. She has been staying up much, much later than usual. I mean, normally, she turns into a pumpkin at 9:59pm so this post midnight time she has been reaching lately is beyond bizarre. Apparently she's "productive" after the Youngling is out of her way, whatever that means. Last night, Servant took me out into the tundra to "do my business" at the usual time between 9pm and 10pm. Maid was still raring to go, working on whatever electronic work she needed to complete. But Servant didn't put me to bed. He allowed me to stay up with Maid on the couch. She, of course, was too consumed with her electric typing machine to pay any attention to me. She thought I was sleeping but I was really devising my plan.

Shortly after midnight, Maid decided it was time for her to retire. The house was getting quite chilly due to the extreme external temperatures that have been produced lately. Maid thought she had turned on my individual heater but it didn't prove to be sufficient. I didn't even bother laying down when she put me to bed. I sat quietly and waited. I waited until I heard Maid lay down to start my plan's execution. And then I started. I started pounding on my bedroom door. Oh, Maid! I knew she would think there was a burglar in the house! I knew she wouldn't want to wake Servant because he would tell her that she was being ridiculous. So I continued to pound. And then I would wait. Then I would pound again a little louder. And wait. Maid was lying in bed, heart racing, thinking Youngling was going to be kidnapped. Finally, Maid tiptoed down the stairs to see if there was a burglar in the house. She was extremely displeased to discover it was me! Little did she know this wasn't it.

Maid took me outside again. Did she not get the memo how COLD it was last night?? I humored her and did my thing. We came in the house around one in the morning and she attempted, I repeat, attempted to put me in my room again. I waited until she was upstairs and snuggled into bed to start my pounding once more. This time, Servant caved and said I could sleep next to him. So Maid came down to get me, all in a huff, and practically threw me into bed next to Servant. Practically, threw me I tell you! Such disrespect! Since I could feel such haste from Maid, I made sure to take my time getting comfortable. Circling around. Scratching. Shaking. All the necessary movements and here's the best part.

When I sleep in bed with Servant and Maid as soon as the clock reaches five in the morning, I decide to start the process of awakening them. This morning I thought my service was best if I was on the pillows. I was proud of Maid. She stood firm and refused to move. I knew she was awake and just ignoring me. It was now Servant's turn to deal with me. He is quite skilled at wrestling me down for another 30 minutes or so but then my fidgeting prevails.

I haven't quite decided if I will run my charades again tonight. I might give Maid a pass since she entertained me with frozen water balls outside today. We shall see...

Until next time, my friends. Butters