Hello dear world,"Happy" birthday to me. Yes, it is I, Butters. Here I am slaving away over this blog on the historic day that is my fifth birthday. The day I escaped from my mother's womb. The day I was brought into this world, only to be handed the treacherous fate that I have received. I will use many more images this time in hopes to really strike home my message of grief to you. I implore you to seek compassion.
I know I have expressed my frustrations to all of you about the decline in delicacies in the household but just look at the pitiful low I am at. The Youngling, peering over me like some superior being. Does Maid not realize how much more he slobbers than I? I really do not see the attraction.
Please do not let Maid fool you by her feeble attempts to exercise me lately. I know she records these videos about her pushing through miles and miles of terrain. I, however, continue to have to slow my pace for her to keep up with me. It is quite sad. I almost pity her. But then the feeling passes...
And then. Oh and then there is this. Need I say more?
And when I do find some reprieve from this madness my "family" calls life, Maid refuses to allow me any privacy. She's sickening really.
Oh sure, Maid acknowledged my birthday today. She even reminded Servant of it when she arrived home (smelling of yet another outing with Youngling that I was not permitted to attend). Servant snuggled me. He greeted me with enthusiasm. But then Maid had to swoop in with this annoying "selfie" moment. I really hate her sometimes...
So if you must call this a "happy" day, please do provide better attempts to contact me, send delicacies, or even rescue me from this fate. Look at the embarrassing behavior that I have been resorting to around here. Surely, you must pity me even more.
Sincerely, The Most High, Butters
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