Today has been one of those days. One of those days where you can almost see the crankiness around you, trying to suffocate you, and you feel like there is nothing you can do about it. One of those days where you just need five quick minutes to get whatever it is you want to get done but your kid is just not having it. It's one of those days where my mood could easily be reflected onto others around me. I am aware this happens so I really try to be in the best mood possible at all times. Does it happen all of the time? No. Ask my husband. It doesn't mean I don't put my best foot forward. I follow enough positive people to know that mood is a choice. Statement pictured below: so true.
My son threw so many tantrums today it really turned into several hours of just crying non-stop. It didn't matter how many boo-boos I kissed. It didn't matter how many sippy cups I filled up with milk. It didn't matter what I did, I was fighting a losing battle with him.
Those are the toughest moments.
The moments when I want to say, rather scream, "Fine! I give up! Do whatever you want! Just for the love of Pete, STOP CRYING!". But screaming isn't going to help the situation. It's not going to make my son feel better. It's not going to make me feel better. It's going to make it worse.
Naptime was my light today but it came in kicking and screaming. Poor guy was still having a fit. I laid him down with his blankies and stuffed puppy and walked out of his room like always. The crying kept going. I peeked in on him. He was just laying there crying. He was at the point where he was so upset that he couldn't even fight it anymore. He was totally exhausted and sad.
Normally, I would have just let him buck. This was supposed to be my quiet time, my down time. I look forward to it daily. He would have eventually went to sleep but I just felt too bad for him. I walked over to the crib and started whispering, "It's ok," as I stroked his hair. Normally, he would have sat up and we would have avoided nap altogether. Not today. Today he just laid there, soaking in the comfort. I started saying the "Hail Mary" in my head, over and over again, a little mid-day mantra for the both of us. I needed to meditate anyway so why not bring a little peace to both of our hearts. I repeated the prayer ten times while soothing my little boy. His little eyes eventually closed and that stress around my heart was lifted.
It's not always that easy. It takes practice to calm your own mind so you can tend to those around you. It is hard to be unselfish and set aside your own desires to make others happy. But the end result is worth it. It's always worth it.