When You Feel Like a Bad Mom...

Feelings of guilt, shame, desperation, anger, frustration, or exhaustion. Feeling like you can't do anything right.

Feeling like you're the worst mom ever.

Been there? I'm guessing you have.

rollercoaster

I don't know about you but for me this parenting thing is like one big rollercoaster. Some days I am flying high. I'm on top. I'm unstoppable. My family has a rhythm that no one can match. There's laughter. There's snuggles. There's encouragement. There's completed to do lists. There's accomplishments. There's love.

But how quickly we can drop.

The next day we can be at what feels like rock bottom. There's anger. There's tears. There's harsh words. There's sharp tones. There are no manners. There is no appreciation. There's barely love. No one is happy.

Of course I am writing this because I am currently riding a low. My dear little boy is frankly driving me nuts. He can be so good but so naughty. He's testing me. He's riding the limits. He's being a normal, growing toddler. I get it. It's normal. But damn, just stop whining. That's all I ask. Can you just be naughty without the piercing sound that digs so deep into my brain that I want to scream?? That would be awesome.

I know. Take a breather, right?

So I took a breath. And I had noticed the most recent picture I had taken of my son made him look just...perfect. He had bright eyes and a big smile. He was rockin' some Turtle jammies. I commented how I needed to slow down and really start looking at him. That he is a bright, loving, smart, kind and energetic boy. That I am truly blessed to be his momma. I really looked at the photo and realized I don't always look at him with loving eyes mostly because my ears are sick of listening to his pleas and whines.

Moms, listen up. We need to find a more peaceful way to ride this parenting rollercoaster. Don't you agree? These highs and lows are freaking exhausting. So here's my plan. When I am ready to scream, when I am ready to cry, when I am ready to quit, when I am ready to run away...

I am just going to stop and breathe.

I am going to look into those eyes. I am going to find five things that make him special. I am going to give him a hug and a kiss. I am going to tell him I love him. I am going to start singing Amazing Grace.

And when all else fails I will remind myself that the day's end is near. Tomorrow is a new day. I am still a good mom, a human mom, with real frustrations like everyone else. I know that I am not alone. I know that I can ask for help. I know that I am allowed a break, even if that break means crying alone in the shower for a bit.

If you are currently riding the low part of your rollercoaster, please know, I support you. I believe in you. You are a good mom. Look at your kiddos. Find good things about them. Take a breath. Look for love.