Have I Ever Told You....

Have I ever told you how much this graphic from Parenting Magazine drives me nuts?? Pinterest, suggested that I might like this graphic. #PinterestFail

Image from Parents Magazine

Image from Parents Magazine

Really?! I should NEVER say those to my kids? I did read this article when it first came out and I know the images are more direct and it provides an explanation behind them. I just really dislike the negative graphic and title. How about "10 Things We Should Tell Our Kids Daily" or "10 Things for Stressed Out Moms"? Just sayin'...

 But just looking at this graphic still gets me. I guess that's the point.

Here's what I think...

I say "Let me help" when my son gets frustrated. When he starts throwing things and gets mad, I want him to know that I'm here to help him. 

I say "Great job" because I like recognizing when my son does a great job. I know I am really good at getting snippy with him and picking out the bad that he does during the day, so when I consciously make an effort to recognize the good? Yeah, I'm using that. 

I say "Be careful" because my monkey son likes to climb all over the place. I like warning him that he could get hurt. In full honesty, I know the article with this graphic said that you shouldn't say "Be careful" WHILE they are climbing around because when it is in the moment, it just proves a distraction and causes them to get hurt. I get it but I'm still saying it. 

I say "You're OK" because my son watches for a reaction out of me. He is so completely obvious about it. Every fall is immediately followed by a look my way to see if he should melt down or brush it off. When he is truly upset, I acknowledge that. I'm not brushing his feelings under the rug. I know sometimes he might not be OK. I know sometimes he is going to be upset, hurt, scared, mad, or sad. But for those quick falls? Buddy, you're OK.

I say "Practice makes perfect" because sometimes you need to put a little effort into something! I don't want my son thinking he can give up. I want him to always TRY. I want him to give things in life a good attempt. I want him to strive to be his best. No, he will never be perfect, but that doesn't mean he can't work hard. 

I say "Hurry up" because my son is a turtle. He's a lumbering giant. He is naturally a slower little dude. There is no speed or urgency in his actions or decisions. He is meticulous. He is cautious. And it drives me CRAZY! Life moves fast. He's going to get left in the dust if he doesn't pick it up a notch. I'd rather he hears that from me and his father than his peers. I normally allow extra time for his dawdling personality, but sometimes he just needs a little fire under his tushie. 

I say "We can't afford that" because it's good for him to understand we can't buy EVERYTHING he wants. Now, my son's two so we really haven't gotten into this much yet but it's starting. He sees pictures of things and he wants them. I've already started talking to him about needing to put items on his birthday and Christmas lists because we don't buy toys year round. I also started talking to him that this Christmas season he's going to go through his toys and start picking some to give to other kids who don't get toys for Christmas. I want my son to learn moderation when it comes to possessions. I want him to learn material control. I want him to learn compassion towards giving to others. 

Now on to the last three....

"No Dessert Until you Finish Your Dinner"-- I get it. We don't want kids to think they HAVE to finish their plates. But have you ever fed a toddler?? They don't want to sit and eat ANYTHING!! I have no issue withholding treats because he didn't eat a good meal. He doesn't have to finish it, but if I don't see a good effort with his meal then he certainly doesn't need any after dinner treat. Which we rarely have anyway....Or my hubby and I eat ice cream after our son goes to bed...

"Don't Talk to Strangers"--We really aren't at that stage yet. My son is super shy and won't say hi to anyone unless he already knows them. I'm not to worried at this stage in his life. But as he ages this will be a topic of conversation to keep him safe. This is extremely important within the correct context. 

"I'm on a Diet"--This one will never be said in my house. I believe the family should all eat the same thing. This could be a whole other post....

What are your thoughts? Are these phrases to avoid or do you use them?